The Key to Change (is not found in others) by Dwayne Castle
Many years ago, while arguing with a person with whom arguing was a frequent occurrence, the other person made an accusation along the lines of "you always think you're right!" I responded with a very adamant "so do you" to which I was met with "do not." My reply was a very mature "do too" and after lobbing a few of those logic grenades back and forth the point was made that there would be no argument if one of us thought we were wrong.
That leads to the topic of this post; change. It seems to me that we all want change somewhere in our world, whether it be on the job, in our homes & families, or in our circle of friends and acquaintances. We can all point to the people that need to change, but how often is that finger pointing at ourselves? From personal experience, it doesn't seem to point inward near as often as it should.
Let's face it, very few of us have a thought process that questions our own thought process. My brain (and I'm guessing yours, too) seems to like its own logic which is why my way of looking at things makes the most sense. To me anyway.
Because of that, our nature is that obviously change needs to take place in and through someone that isn't us. The problem with that thinking is that someone that isn't us, is having the same thoughts about someone that isn't them. Each side digs in and holds fast to their own viewpoint, and change is slow to come, if it comes at all.
The best outcomes in my life, professionally and personally, have come when I chose to set aside my pride and allowed myself to recognize even the remotest of possibilities that my way of thinking could be erroneous or that another's way of thinking could, even if by the slimmest of chances, be more right than mine.
When we allow for moments of introspection, real course corrections can take place and new ground, seized. Through the acknowledgement that other perspectives are at least as worthy as our own, teams can come together to achieve great things, marriages can grow stronger, friendships and family relationships have the power to become healthy, and accomplishments that wouldn't have been possible can suddenly appear.
Nobody likes to be around someone who consistently dismisses their ideas or opinions. Allowing for alternate perspectives and by taking into account the life experiences that lend to those alternate points of view, we create opportunities for greatness that are impossible when relying solely on self.
People need to know that their contributions matter, and by extension that they matter. There is no better way to help them to know this than by acknowledging and acting on the validity of their thoughts.
As you read this, I challenge you to think of the last time you were wrong about something or that you allowed for someone else's point of view. When was the last time that you implemented an idea that wasn't your own? If you are having trouble thinking of a recent occurrence, it may time for you to consider changing your approach to the people around you.
Don't be so quick to think that you are always the smartest or the rightest person in the room. And if you just can't seem to move beyond that possibility, don't be so naive to think that you are going to win any long-term allies to your vision or grow your sphere of influence without at least allowing others the honor of being right now and then.
I'd love to hear your feedback on this topic. What have you found that works or what have you found to be your biggest challenges when a point of change arises?
If you or your business aren't experiencing the growth or the change that you need or if you are having challenges really connecting with the people in your sphere, I can help. Feel free to click here to learn more and to schedule a free consultation. Let's determine if my services are right for you.
ABOUT ME- I am the owner of Relationally Driven- a performance coaching venture which exists to help businesses and individuals achieve their mission by teaching them how to grow their spheres of influence, improve employee engagement and retention, and/or increase customer satisfaction.
I've recently published my first book, The Relationally Driven Approach and am currently working on book two in The Relationally Driven Series. If you would like updates on the new book or when new blog posts are ready you can just click on the "subscribe via email" link below.